November 2, 2011
So as I'm sure you all can see, I'm not even very good at blogging. So here's what September through October was like in a nutshell:
PANDEMONIUM
College life is crazy.
Bat crap crazy.
Flat freaking crazy.
There's roommates and cleaning, staying awake in class and homework, friendships and flirting (what's the difference?), not to mention a real church calling and trying to seem perfect among a sea of saints.
But I've learned a lot really. The best classes are always the ones you think you'll find boring. Intro to Film? I'm in love with it. Movies are so great to talk about. And I'm not falling asleep through them anymore! Figure Drawing is wonderful, albeit stressful as all heck. My artwork has improved so much within just these two months and I'm falling in love with sketching again.
I've also learned that's it's okay not be on top anymore. I have had a lesson in humility. Holding a 3.96 GPA in high school was great. Getting a 74% on my first religion test was a bitter pill to swallow. The grade got switched around a bit later on due to curving, but still. I don't need to be the best. I really just need to try my hardest and pray. If I don't get an A, well that's just fine. I fought tooth and nail and I know my own work and commitment. I still don't plan on letting my grades slip below a B average, but that's a big step down from high school where I wanted to shoot myself in the foot if I didn't score at least a 90 on everything.
I've also learned that I'm not as weird as I thought I was. It's completely possible for there to be people out there like me. It's okay for a BYU student to watch anime, read manga, play video games, read internet memes, and listen to super crazy Japanese music. I feel accepted here. Way more than back home. Sure, I'm still a bit lonely, but I'm finally making some friends.
I'm a much better homemaker than I thought. I really, truly, wholeheartedly hate to admit it, but I guess I might make a decent little wifey someday. Cooking is awesomely fun. For reals. Cookies are so great to make. Fried rice is delicious. I'm pretty sure that my new mode of procrastination is cooking. So much better than homework.
On a different note, people aren't kidding about the dating scene at BYU. Sure, I've only been asked out on one date, and the fine young gentleman was from the U (*cringe*), but it was honestly the best date I've been on. But what I mean about the dating scene is that you will always, always have roommates or friends with a significant other. It's incredulously entertaining. Like watching all those teenage dramas on ABC Family, but it's real life. But you get used to it quickly. You learn to laugh at the couple making out across the parking lot from your dorm window. You learn to ignore the girl giving a back massage to her boyfriend in the middle of a devotional and just wonder, 'Why would she ever date (or marry) someone that bald?' This is BYU. It's normal. If anything, the most ridiculous thing I see on a daily basis would be the bodies laying strewn about in random positions along the landscaping of the campus. Is it a serial killer? Avian flu? Zombie apocalypse? Global Warming? Nah. They're all just sleeping. In public. But every time I see someone asleep on the ground I just think they have narcolepsy, then remember I'm at college. Yup. Normal, normal, normal.
All in all, I'll survive. It's still going to be stressful here, but I've got this feeling that all these experiences are for the best. I might not make it into the program I want. Oh well. It'll suck, but I'll find something new, however hard it may be. I might not find a soulmate here. I really don't care about that. Okay, I do, but you know what I mean. I might not do as smashingly well as I'd hoped I would in my classes. Life moves on. No one is really going to care how I did in my college Biology class in ten years.
This is just one step in life and there's still many more left on this staircase of existence.
For now, I'll just do my best.
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